Senin, 18 Maret 2019

How do you balance your desire for liberation with your wordly desires?





















2






























I'm in a strange situation right now (weird for me, at least).
These past few days have been intense days of reflection on the Dhamma, which generated two effects at the same time in my overall life:



1) I feel like I'm seeing things clearer than ever before. Anicca, Anatta and Dukkha are no more just simple intellectual statements, but they are the filter of most of my experiences.
This is not a declaration of attainments nor anything alike, but rather an oportunity to share how true is the Dhamma and how much freedom can it bring to our lives.
I feel more at peace than ever before, and people around seem to be benefiting from these changes (or so it seems from the outside).
But...



2) I feel more isolated than ever before, which is not a bad thing in itself. It is rather a kind of peaceful loneliness, but loneliness nonetheless.
I feel like quite a few people could understand these feelings, and that I have few people around me to get advice from.
And so it seems be noticed by some close friends and acquantances. Some of them seem to think that I'm becoming something like a robot. I don't think that's the case. Maybe "equanimous" is the word I'd use to describe such state.
One of my friends asked me if I talk to her just out of compassion instead of out of real feelings of friendship.
That question really freaked me out, especially because it seems to be pointing to some truth, but I cannot put my finger on it; I don't know if there's a real difference between those two motivations.



One part of me wants to keep going along this Path, because all of the peace it has brought to me.
The other part is not so sure if it's ready to lose its bonds, relationships and wordly goals and ties, feelings which can be ascribed to still being in love with Samsara, and still having ignorant tendencies.



I feel in a kind of crossroad right now.



Have you experienced something like this?
Is it possible to balance these two goals?



I'd really appreaciate any piece of advice, whether from personal experience or from suttas.



Thanks in advance for your patience and understanding!

















share|improve this question























































    2






























    I'm in a strange situation right now (weird for me, at least).
    These past few days have been intense days of reflection on the Dhamma, which generated two effects at the same time in my overall life:



    1) I feel like I'm seeing things clearer than ever before. Anicca, Anatta and Dukkha are no more just simple intellectual statements, but they are the filter of most of my experiences.
    This is not a declaration of attainments nor anything alike, but rather an oportunity to share how true is the Dhamma and how much freedom can it bring to our lives.
    I feel more at peace than ever before, and people around seem to be benefiting from these changes (or so it seems from the outside).
    But...



    2) I feel more isolated than ever before, which is not a bad thing in itself. It is rather a kind of peaceful loneliness, but loneliness nonetheless.
    I feel like quite a few people could understand these feelings, and that I have few people around me to get advice from.
    And so it seems be noticed by some close friends and acquantances. Some of them seem to think that I'm becoming something like a robot. I don't think that's the case. Maybe "equanimous" is the word I'd use to describe such state.
    One of my friends asked me if I talk to her just out of compassion instead of out of real feelings of friendship.
    That question really freaked me out, especially because it seems to be pointing to some truth, but I cannot put my finger on it; I don't know if there's a real difference between those two motivations.



    One part of me wants to keep going along this Path, because all of the peace it has brought to me.
    The other part is not so sure if it's ready to lose its bonds, relationships and wordly goals and ties, feelings which can be ascribed to still being in love with Samsara, and still having ignorant tendencies.



    I feel in a kind of crossroad right now.



    Have you experienced something like this?
    Is it possible to balance these two goals?



    I'd really appreaciate any piece of advice, whether from personal experience or from suttas.



    Thanks in advance for your patience and understanding!

















    share|improve this question



















































      2






















      2














      2












      I'm in a strange situation right now (weird for me, at least).
      These past few days have been intense days of reflection on the Dhamma, which generated two effects at the same time in my overall life:



      1) I feel like I'm seeing things clearer than ever before. Anicca, Anatta and Dukkha are no more just simple intellectual statements, but they are the filter of most of my experiences.
      This is not a declaration of attainments nor anything alike, but rather an oportunity to share how true is the Dhamma and how much freedom can it bring to our lives.
      I feel more at peace than ever before, and people around seem to be benefiting from these changes (or so it seems from the outside).
      But...



      2) I feel more isolated than ever before, which is not a bad thing in itself. It is rather a kind of peaceful loneliness, but loneliness nonetheless.
      I feel like quite a few people could understand these feelings, and that I have few people around me to get advice from.
      And so it seems be noticed by some close friends and acquantances. Some of them seem to think that I'm becoming something like a robot. I don't think that's the case. Maybe "equanimous" is the word I'd use to describe such state.
      One of my friends asked me if I talk to her just out of compassion instead of out of real feelings of friendship.
      That question really freaked me out, especially because it seems to be pointing to some truth, but I cannot put my finger on it; I don't know if there's a real difference between those two motivations.



      One part of me wants to keep going along this Path, because all of the peace it has brought to me.
      The other part is not so sure if it's ready to lose its bonds, relationships and wordly goals and ties, feelings which can be ascribed to still being in love with Samsara, and still having ignorant tendencies.



      I feel in a kind of crossroad right now.



      Have you experienced something like this?
      Is it possible to balance these two goals?



      I'd really appreaciate any piece of advice, whether from personal experience or from suttas.



      Thanks in advance for your patience and understanding!

















      share|improve this question






























      I'm in a strange situation right now (weird for me, at least).
      These past few days have been intense days of reflection on the Dhamma, which generated two effects at the same time in my overall life:



      1) I feel like I'm seeing things clearer than ever before. Anicca, Anatta and Dukkha are no more just simple intellectual statements, but they are the filter of most of my experiences.
      This is not a declaration of attainments nor anything alike, but rather an oportunity to share how true is the Dhamma and how much freedom can it bring to our lives.
      I feel more at peace than ever before, and people around seem to be benefiting from these changes (or so it seems from the outside).
      But...



      2) I feel more isolated than ever before, which is not a bad thing in itself. It is rather a kind of peaceful loneliness, but loneliness nonetheless.
      I feel like quite a few people could understand these feelings, and that I have few people around me to get advice from.
      And so it seems be noticed by some close friends and acquantances. Some of them seem to think that I'm becoming something like a robot. I don't think that's the case. Maybe "equanimous" is the word I'd use to describe such state.
      One of my friends asked me if I talk to her just out of compassion instead of out of real feelings of friendship.
      That question really freaked me out, especially because it seems to be pointing to some truth, but I cannot put my finger on it; I don't know if there's a real difference between those two motivations.



      One part of me wants to keep going along this Path, because all of the peace it has brought to me.
      The other part is not so sure if it's ready to lose its bonds, relationships and wordly goals and ties, feelings which can be ascribed to still being in love with Samsara, and still having ignorant tendencies.



      I feel in a kind of crossroad right now.



      Have you experienced something like this?
      Is it possible to balance these two goals?



      I'd really appreaciate any piece of advice, whether from personal experience or from suttas.



      Thanks in advance for your patience and understanding!








      personal-practice desire personal-experience










      share|improve this question



























      share|improve this question























      share|improve this question





      share|improve this question










      edited 1 hour ago











      Brian Díaz Flores



























      asked 3 hours ago













      Brian Díaz FloresBrian Díaz Flores



      45518







      45518



































          3 Answers

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          1





























          One of my friends asked me if I talk to her just out of compassion instead of out of real feelings of friendship. That question really freaked me out, especially because it seems to be pointing to some truth




          Indeed. Insightful or intuitive question by the lady




          One part of me wants to keep going along this Path, because all of the peace it has brought to me. The other part is not so sure if is
          ready to lose its bonds, relationships and wordly goals and ties,
          feelings which can be ascribed to still being in love with Samsara,
          and still having ignorant tendencies.




          Worldly friends generally will not abandon you when you live a more isolated life. They like to reassure themselves you are not crazy when you occasionally turn up to one of their social events & act reasonably normally. This said, yes, a genuine Dhamma life in ordinary society is very isolated. It can be more isolated than living in a monastery (because in the monastery there may be some like-minded persons).









          share|improve this answer

































































            0




























            In the right direction, but still have a long way to go. When your worldly desires fade out, you become closer to liberation. If you are at a cross road, that means something is bothering you, is it the loss of worldly friends ? Or Loneliness ?



            In short, they can be perfectly balanced.



            "If a fool persists in his folly, he can become wise."









            share|improve this answer





























































              0




























              Peaceful states are great in the path, but they are temporary. So you can enjoy them when they arise but don't cling to these states because peaceful states of mind can't be permanent in one's life unless the person completely disidentifies from the core of the subconscious mind, and the disidentification process from the core of the subconscious mind starts in the last phase of the stream-enterer stage. Only after reaching the once-returner stage the person would have continous peace that would not end in time or with the worldly conditions. That's necessary for a meditator to remember time to time because when the peaceful states gone, it can make the meditators very dissapointed and can stop the meditator to keep going If they haven't prepared themselves for it.



              Feeling of isolation and loneliness is normal in the path. As you go further in the path you'll be internally more vulnerable and as vulnerability grows, you'll open your heart and mind more to the nature of reality and the feeling of isolation and loneliness will decrease and eventually dissapear completely. Then you can live in a cave or you can be in Bill Gates position it doesn't matter. You'll not feel lonely or isolated anymore.



              A Buddhist meditator must either live in solitude or find right people to spend time with and build a Sangha for him/her that would help him/her in the path and give the energy to continue in the path. In some of the countries this is very difficult or impossible, but in the Buddhist countries and many of the western countries this is certainly a doable thing. So when you build a sangha, spend your time with right people, it would be far easier for you to let go of the worldly desires and ordinary wordly people who have completely wrong perceptions, ideas and beliefs and can only pull you down to their own level of frequency and eventually make you stop your spiritual practise completely. That's why being disloyal to the popular culture and society is necessary. Ordinary people's path is the complete opposite of the dhamma. Their path is the suffering path.




              Remember what the Buddha said. There is no condition of life that more powerfully influences your development than cultivating wholesome friends and companions. Start with yourself, as you are today, and build on your strengths to become a better friend and companion to others. And choose who you spend time with carefully




              https://buddhasadvice.wordpress.com/friendships/









              share|improve this answer

















































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                3 Answers

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                1





























                One of my friends asked me if I talk to her just out of compassion instead of out of real feelings of friendship. That question really freaked me out, especially because it seems to be pointing to some truth




                Indeed. Insightful or intuitive question by the lady




                One part of me wants to keep going along this Path, because all of the peace it has brought to me. The other part is not so sure if is
                ready to lose its bonds, relationships and wordly goals and ties,
                feelings which can be ascribed to still being in love with Samsara,
                and still having ignorant tendencies.




                Worldly friends generally will not abandon you when you live a more isolated life. They like to reassure themselves you are not crazy when you occasionally turn up to one of their social events & act reasonably normally. This said, yes, a genuine Dhamma life in ordinary society is very isolated. It can be more isolated than living in a monastery (because in the monastery there may be some like-minded persons).









                share|improve this answer

























































                  1





























                  One of my friends asked me if I talk to her just out of compassion instead of out of real feelings of friendship. That question really freaked me out, especially because it seems to be pointing to some truth




                  Indeed. Insightful or intuitive question by the lady




                  One part of me wants to keep going along this Path, because all of the peace it has brought to me. The other part is not so sure if is
                  ready to lose its bonds, relationships and wordly goals and ties,
                  feelings which can be ascribed to still being in love with Samsara,
                  and still having ignorant tendencies.




                  Worldly friends generally will not abandon you when you live a more isolated life. They like to reassure themselves you are not crazy when you occasionally turn up to one of their social events & act reasonably normally. This said, yes, a genuine Dhamma life in ordinary society is very isolated. It can be more isolated than living in a monastery (because in the monastery there may be some like-minded persons).









                  share|improve this answer





















































                    1






















                    1














                    1











                    One of my friends asked me if I talk to her just out of compassion instead of out of real feelings of friendship. That question really freaked me out, especially because it seems to be pointing to some truth




                    Indeed. Insightful or intuitive question by the lady




                    One part of me wants to keep going along this Path, because all of the peace it has brought to me. The other part is not so sure if is
                    ready to lose its bonds, relationships and wordly goals and ties,
                    feelings which can be ascribed to still being in love with Samsara,
                    and still having ignorant tendencies.




                    Worldly friends generally will not abandon you when you live a more isolated life. They like to reassure themselves you are not crazy when you occasionally turn up to one of their social events & act reasonably normally. This said, yes, a genuine Dhamma life in ordinary society is very isolated. It can be more isolated than living in a monastery (because in the monastery there may be some like-minded persons).









                    share|improve this answer





























                    One of my friends asked me if I talk to her just out of compassion instead of out of real feelings of friendship. That question really freaked me out, especially because it seems to be pointing to some truth




                    Indeed. Insightful or intuitive question by the lady




                    One part of me wants to keep going along this Path, because all of the peace it has brought to me. The other part is not so sure if is
                    ready to lose its bonds, relationships and wordly goals and ties,
                    feelings which can be ascribed to still being in love with Samsara,
                    and still having ignorant tendencies.




                    Worldly friends generally will not abandon you when you live a more isolated life. They like to reassure themselves you are not crazy when you occasionally turn up to one of their social events & act reasonably normally. This said, yes, a genuine Dhamma life in ordinary society is very isolated. It can be more isolated than living in a monastery (because in the monastery there may be some like-minded persons).









                    share|improve this answer

























                    share|improve this answer



                    share|improve this answer










                    edited 1 hour ago







































                    answered 1 hour ago













                    DhammadhatuDhammadhatu



                    25.5k11044







                    25.5k11044





































                        0




























                        In the right direction, but still have a long way to go. When your worldly desires fade out, you become closer to liberation. If you are at a cross road, that means something is bothering you, is it the loss of worldly friends ? Or Loneliness ?



                        In short, they can be perfectly balanced.



                        "If a fool persists in his folly, he can become wise."









                        share|improve this answer





















































                          0




























                          In the right direction, but still have a long way to go. When your worldly desires fade out, you become closer to liberation. If you are at a cross road, that means something is bothering you, is it the loss of worldly friends ? Or Loneliness ?



                          In short, they can be perfectly balanced.



                          "If a fool persists in his folly, he can become wise."









                          share|improve this answer

















































                            0






















                            0














                            0










                            In the right direction, but still have a long way to go. When your worldly desires fade out, you become closer to liberation. If you are at a cross road, that means something is bothering you, is it the loss of worldly friends ? Or Loneliness ?



                            In short, they can be perfectly balanced.



                            "If a fool persists in his folly, he can become wise."









                            share|improve this answer
























                            In the right direction, but still have a long way to go. When your worldly desires fade out, you become closer to liberation. If you are at a cross road, that means something is bothering you, is it the loss of worldly friends ? Or Loneliness ?



                            In short, they can be perfectly balanced.



                            "If a fool persists in his folly, he can become wise."









                            share|improve this answer





















                            share|improve this answer



                            share|improve this answer














                            answered 3 hours ago













                            Krizalid_13190Krizalid_13190



                            52717







                            52717





































                                0




























                                Peaceful states are great in the path, but they are temporary. So you can enjoy them when they arise but don't cling to these states because peaceful states of mind can't be permanent in one's life unless the person completely disidentifies from the core of the subconscious mind, and the disidentification process from the core of the subconscious mind starts in the last phase of the stream-enterer stage. Only after reaching the once-returner stage the person would have continous peace that would not end in time or with the worldly conditions. That's necessary for a meditator to remember time to time because when the peaceful states gone, it can make the meditators very dissapointed and can stop the meditator to keep going If they haven't prepared themselves for it.



                                Feeling of isolation and loneliness is normal in the path. As you go further in the path you'll be internally more vulnerable and as vulnerability grows, you'll open your heart and mind more to the nature of reality and the feeling of isolation and loneliness will decrease and eventually dissapear completely. Then you can live in a cave or you can be in Bill Gates position it doesn't matter. You'll not feel lonely or isolated anymore.



                                A Buddhist meditator must either live in solitude or find right people to spend time with and build a Sangha for him/her that would help him/her in the path and give the energy to continue in the path. In some of the countries this is very difficult or impossible, but in the Buddhist countries and many of the western countries this is certainly a doable thing. So when you build a sangha, spend your time with right people, it would be far easier for you to let go of the worldly desires and ordinary wordly people who have completely wrong perceptions, ideas and beliefs and can only pull you down to their own level of frequency and eventually make you stop your spiritual practise completely. That's why being disloyal to the popular culture and society is necessary. Ordinary people's path is the complete opposite of the dhamma. Their path is the suffering path.




                                Remember what the Buddha said. There is no condition of life that more powerfully influences your development than cultivating wholesome friends and companions. Start with yourself, as you are today, and build on your strengths to become a better friend and companion to others. And choose who you spend time with carefully




                                https://buddhasadvice.wordpress.com/friendships/









                                share|improve this answer

























































                                  0




























                                  Peaceful states are great in the path, but they are temporary. So you can enjoy them when they arise but don't cling to these states because peaceful states of mind can't be permanent in one's life unless the person completely disidentifies from the core of the subconscious mind, and the disidentification process from the core of the subconscious mind starts in the last phase of the stream-enterer stage. Only after reaching the once-returner stage the person would have continous peace that would not end in time or with the worldly conditions. That's necessary for a meditator to remember time to time because when the peaceful states gone, it can make the meditators very dissapointed and can stop the meditator to keep going If they haven't prepared themselves for it.



                                  Feeling of isolation and loneliness is normal in the path. As you go further in the path you'll be internally more vulnerable and as vulnerability grows, you'll open your heart and mind more to the nature of reality and the feeling of isolation and loneliness will decrease and eventually dissapear completely. Then you can live in a cave or you can be in Bill Gates position it doesn't matter. You'll not feel lonely or isolated anymore.



                                  A Buddhist meditator must either live in solitude or find right people to spend time with and build a Sangha for him/her that would help him/her in the path and give the energy to continue in the path. In some of the countries this is very difficult or impossible, but in the Buddhist countries and many of the western countries this is certainly a doable thing. So when you build a sangha, spend your time with right people, it would be far easier for you to let go of the worldly desires and ordinary wordly people who have completely wrong perceptions, ideas and beliefs and can only pull you down to their own level of frequency and eventually make you stop your spiritual practise completely. That's why being disloyal to the popular culture and society is necessary. Ordinary people's path is the complete opposite of the dhamma. Their path is the suffering path.




                                  Remember what the Buddha said. There is no condition of life that more powerfully influences your development than cultivating wholesome friends and companions. Start with yourself, as you are today, and build on your strengths to become a better friend and companion to others. And choose who you spend time with carefully




                                  https://buddhasadvice.wordpress.com/friendships/









                                  share|improve this answer





















































                                    0






















                                    0














                                    0










                                    Peaceful states are great in the path, but they are temporary. So you can enjoy them when they arise but don't cling to these states because peaceful states of mind can't be permanent in one's life unless the person completely disidentifies from the core of the subconscious mind, and the disidentification process from the core of the subconscious mind starts in the last phase of the stream-enterer stage. Only after reaching the once-returner stage the person would have continous peace that would not end in time or with the worldly conditions. That's necessary for a meditator to remember time to time because when the peaceful states gone, it can make the meditators very dissapointed and can stop the meditator to keep going If they haven't prepared themselves for it.



                                    Feeling of isolation and loneliness is normal in the path. As you go further in the path you'll be internally more vulnerable and as vulnerability grows, you'll open your heart and mind more to the nature of reality and the feeling of isolation and loneliness will decrease and eventually dissapear completely. Then you can live in a cave or you can be in Bill Gates position it doesn't matter. You'll not feel lonely or isolated anymore.



                                    A Buddhist meditator must either live in solitude or find right people to spend time with and build a Sangha for him/her that would help him/her in the path and give the energy to continue in the path. In some of the countries this is very difficult or impossible, but in the Buddhist countries and many of the western countries this is certainly a doable thing. So when you build a sangha, spend your time with right people, it would be far easier for you to let go of the worldly desires and ordinary wordly people who have completely wrong perceptions, ideas and beliefs and can only pull you down to their own level of frequency and eventually make you stop your spiritual practise completely. That's why being disloyal to the popular culture and society is necessary. Ordinary people's path is the complete opposite of the dhamma. Their path is the suffering path.




                                    Remember what the Buddha said. There is no condition of life that more powerfully influences your development than cultivating wholesome friends and companions. Start with yourself, as you are today, and build on your strengths to become a better friend and companion to others. And choose who you spend time with carefully




                                    https://buddhasadvice.wordpress.com/friendships/









                                    share|improve this answer




























                                    Peaceful states are great in the path, but they are temporary. So you can enjoy them when they arise but don't cling to these states because peaceful states of mind can't be permanent in one's life unless the person completely disidentifies from the core of the subconscious mind, and the disidentification process from the core of the subconscious mind starts in the last phase of the stream-enterer stage. Only after reaching the once-returner stage the person would have continous peace that would not end in time or with the worldly conditions. That's necessary for a meditator to remember time to time because when the peaceful states gone, it can make the meditators very dissapointed and can stop the meditator to keep going If they haven't prepared themselves for it.



                                    Feeling of isolation and loneliness is normal in the path. As you go further in the path you'll be internally more vulnerable and as vulnerability grows, you'll open your heart and mind more to the nature of reality and the feeling of isolation and loneliness will decrease and eventually dissapear completely. Then you can live in a cave or you can be in Bill Gates position it doesn't matter. You'll not feel lonely or isolated anymore.



                                    A Buddhist meditator must either live in solitude or find right people to spend time with and build a Sangha for him/her that would help him/her in the path and give the energy to continue in the path. In some of the countries this is very difficult or impossible, but in the Buddhist countries and many of the western countries this is certainly a doable thing. So when you build a sangha, spend your time with right people, it would be far easier for you to let go of the worldly desires and ordinary wordly people who have completely wrong perceptions, ideas and beliefs and can only pull you down to their own level of frequency and eventually make you stop your spiritual practise completely. That's why being disloyal to the popular culture and society is necessary. Ordinary people's path is the complete opposite of the dhamma. Their path is the suffering path.




                                    Remember what the Buddha said. There is no condition of life that more powerfully influences your development than cultivating wholesome friends and companions. Start with yourself, as you are today, and build on your strengths to become a better friend and companion to others. And choose who you spend time with carefully




                                    https://buddhasadvice.wordpress.com/friendships/









                                    share|improve this answer

























                                    share|improve this answer



                                    share|improve this answer










                                    edited 28 mins ago







































                                    answered 55 mins ago













                                    Murathan1Murathan1



                                    59437







                                    59437


















































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